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Oct 17, 2005


Kat Bachman
Hi Tracy- You probably don't remember me but I was in your first ATC swap. You gave me so much encouragement! I don't know if I ever told you how much that meant to me. I am so sorry that you are going through this kind of hell. I wish that I lived closer so that I could give you a hug and tell you that it will all be better. Take care and don't be so hard on yourself. Those who care about you understand and the others who don't? Well............. ( ((((Tracy)))))) Kat
Oh sweet girl! I had been checking your blog periodically,, but haven't lately... and I read it today. I am SO sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally understand how depression works, and it works in ways that people who DON'T or HAVEN'T suffered from it just cannot fathom. It is so brave of you to tell the world how you are feeling. SO BRAVE!!!!! Most people including me go on pretending everything is ok when inside you are falling apart. I ADMIRE you SO much for being so brave! You are inspiring in so many ways Tracy! I am praying for you and I miss you!!!! This too shall pass, and the people standing next to you will be your "real" friends. Take comfort in that girl!!! I LOVE YOU!
Tracy, Thank you for posting- I think it is an important thing for all of us to talk about. My family doesn't ... I KNOW what you are talking about. My first big depression was at age 14, and at age 33 - a very very hard time for me I was lucky enough to find something that helped. It was the first time in my life that I felt kind of normal. It is something that I have learned is part of me, and I live with it, and care for myself and look for "signs" and try really hard not to fall back into the hole. I thank you for sharing- for helping end the taboo and educating some, and for those who deal with it, for reaching out by talking- we all know how hard that part is. Hang on, hang in, and remember that a lot of us out there "get it". I also want to remove the pressure of e-mail, you don't have to e-mail if I post. I know you see this, and you know that I am thinking of you- that's it. Hang in...
barbara karr
Dear Tracy...I am so sorry you are going through this trial right now...I understand completely...you do not need a "good enough excuse" or any reason at all to feel the way you do...it is what it is and it sounds like you are doing everything you can, taking it one day at a time, one moment at a time and getting medical attention...it seems like you must be getting stronger to share all of this with us and I hope and pray that each day will find you stronger and healthier...you have amazing talent and there are so many people out here rooting for you...sending hugs your way...Barbara
My husband was recently diagnosed with manic depression and I have seen him stuggle with this horrible illness. Depression is misunderstood. I for one have a new understanding of this horrible illness. I hope you feel better and find peace soon. You can make amends to the people waiting for something. I am sure it will be ok. K
Thanks for sharing something that is so deeply personal to you. I believe it helps others. REally..why is it.. that many creative people have this issue? How our minds work I believe.. I feel I'm on the egde of it seeing both sides..but perhaps that is denial. Many things this topic brings up I can relate too. It's hard when people say 'your too hard on yourself' I've been told that too..-we are-...-I am- but that doesn't help..like telling a large person 'You need to lose weight' we know. I'm checking out that website suggested. It's the vicious circle or the whirlpool in your mind and the trick is now you break free from it. But then again.. what really is 'normal'? Perhaps accepting it is the true freedom needed and make use of the patterns? Just thinking...
Tracy: Remember me? We kept trying to meet up at Artfest, Art and Soul, Art Unraveled... (Well, we got to chat for a while at A&S, which was great!) ;) I am so sorry to hear about what's going on. Just know that we love you and support you in every way. You are an incredible person! Hope to see you soon! And poo on those mean people!
Hang in there Honey. Family and friends are what count. Marie
Deb Trotter
Tracy- I was saddened and deeply moved by your confession. Many artists suffer from depression. I don't know why. I think artistic types have always been that way. Perhaps it is because we feel so deeply to our core. I think of Van Gogh, Hemmingway, Virginia Wolfe, Picaso...tons more...But admitting the disease and facing it and hard. Many of us have been there. Without my Zoloft, I am sometimes one mean, bitchy gal who worries about everything and flies off the handle at the smallest offense. And sometimes success brings on a lot of stress. Commitments, worries, over-extension... I believe we sometimes think artists who have "made it" are immune from problems. But it is exactly the opposite, because of the pressure to perform even better. At any rate, I think you will find that the artist community as a whole, is very supportive of you. And if there is someone out there who isn't, you don't need that person in your life. I wish you peace and blessings, and hope that you will be able to return to your art once again with joy. We are all praying for and thinking of you. Deb
Hi Tracy, Sorry, the site is Flylady.net. I hope Flylady blesses you too. She saved my life what with her routines, support, the mantra that I do not have to be perfect, and her saving dinner menus. I got my days under control so that I could love myself better. "Fly" means finally loving yourself".
Hey Art Chick, Hve you heard of www.Flylady.org??? Marla saved my sanity and helps me through each hour of each day. Check out her website. Everything she offers is free, and there is absolutely nothing but help and encouragement. I found her when I was in desperate straits, and started simply with her 15 minute a day guideline. Just reading stories from other people going through troubles made me feel not so alone. As Marla says ," You are never behind and you are never alone. Just jump in from right where you are." Blessings to you.
Call ME and I'll make you laugh :D
Hi Tracy, don't be so hard on yourself, you are a wonderful inspiration to so many people and guess what--none of us are perfect either! Suggestion, maybe get a trusted friend (or automated replies!) to help you tackle your e-mails, that may help you with your feeling so overwhelmed! Exercise helps too! Sometimes it helps to have a plan of attack where tasks or obligations are concerned...you will still feel bad or overwhelmed at times but eventually the sense of accomplishment will help. I understand depression and I know it's not something you can just "snap out of." We'll keep you in our prayers...hopefully you'll find the right combo of things (meds, support, God's loving help) to get you where you want to be. Take care, Suzanne in Albany
Cathryn Bay-Fowler
Tracy, thanks for sharing with us what has been going on with you. Even though most of us who read your webpage haven't met you, we still care about you and can be patient about the orders, etc. Please take care and take it easy on yourself. Cathryn
Laura Duet
Dear Tracy, I want to send you my support. I too have had periods of depression and remain on Lexapro (antidepressant to this day). I have not felt as bad as you have. I have been able to move from day to day, but it has hindered relationships. So, I know of what you speak. Here are some positive thoughts from a stranger: Your art is just beautiful and so inspiring!! You will always have that to fall back on. I think for the most part people will be very understanding of your illness and willing to help you in any way possible. I fantasize about you coming to Illinois to hang out with my stamping/ATC buddies and we could have a good old weekend of female bonding and strengthening. My words of wisdom are to communicate with some person (family member, store clerk, internet e-mail) every day. Even if it is too painful, make yourself do one little thing every day (and take meds!!!!) and you should feel better. Make sure you have a very good doctor too. Anyway, the point of all of this is...feel loved and appreciated. I am rooting for you! P.S. I ordered some of your stamps from Peddler's Pack and they are awesome! Love your style!
<<< Big Hugs Tracy >>> Take care of yourself, do what's right for you.

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