5 Love Languages

I've felt so much love from my friends during this period of my life.  Thanks so much for your kind words and thoughts.  I want to say thanks to Cinda Oliverio for two of the sweetest cards.  Cinda, you've always been such an encouragement to me, I just love you to bits. 
Last night my daughter opened the front door and found a package on the step.  Inside I found two wonderful books and a beautiful card with words of encouragement from Tanya Peacock.
I'm a book freak...love everything about them...I hoard them.  She sent me some wonderful ones that I love...Charmed Bracelets and Altered Book Collage.  Thank you so much for thinking of me.
I've received so many emails and posts as well and although the email thing gets me stressed, usually and I don't often write back, I just want you to know how much it's all been appreciated.

Have you ever heard of the book The Five Love Languages?  I first discovered it when I was a single mom and my daughters were teensy.  There was a parenting video series that I went to where the speaker said that he would tell how to love someone in such a way that they would feel it from their head to their toes.  He talked about this book, which was written by Gary Chapman, saying that there are 5 languages of love.

1. Quality Time
2. Words of Encouragement/Affirmation
3. Gift Giving
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

He had everyone write down the names of the members of our immediate family.
Thinking of each person, he had us write the order of the 5 love languages in order of
importance.  He explained that people will generally show love to others using their favorite love language, for example, Kimber, even at an early age has always been a gift giver.  She was the little 4 year old who would walk up to someone she liked and give them a quarter...(money has always been a big deal for her too, so that quarter symbolized something important).  Katy, on the other hand didn't give away much stuff....but she craved physical touch and quality time, so those were what she gave me.  When I want to do something special for Kimber, it usually involves buying or making her a surprise present...for katy, it's watching a movie or doing something just the two of us.  The trick is, find out how the people in your life express their love and that's how you love them back.  Loving someone in your own specific love language (and you could have more than one, by the way...some will be more important than others but you could have several) is not what'll make them feel loved from the top of their head to the tips of their toes....loving them in THEIR love language is what will do that.  I'll use my husband as an example of this....my primary love languages are gift giving and words of encouragement....when hubby comes home with any ole thing (he just got me a silver dog bone keychain because he knows how much I love my puppy), it's just the greatest thing for me and it makes me happy to know he was thinking of me.  His primary love language is Acts of Service.  When I give him a present, he's appreciative and all, but what REALLY makes him feel loved is when I take the garbage out to the curb before he gets home....when I open the garage door at night and turn the light on so he'll see I'm waiting for him.  When I DO things for him like that, he feels loved more than if I buy him a present.  He tends to DO things for me as a way of showing he loves me and I accept that, appreciate it and do feel loved...but not like when he brings me home a surprise or tells me how wonderful I am. 
This whole concept has changed how I look at loving people....and accepting how they love me.
You should really check this book out if you haven't already.  oxox

Comments

[naomi]

I have heard of the book, in fact, my son and his new bride went through the book together during their engagement. I'm so happy to see and read your posts again tracy I hope you're feeling loved and encouraged and covered by a big blanket of grace.

[Lainie]

Love love lOVE that book! The author has also done other versions, specifically for kids and maybe another... don't remember!

[Judy]

You've done it again, Tracy. I had to cut and paste the wonderful information you've shared with us. You made my day. Thank you. Judy PS The thing about the porch light? That's my hubby too. And when he works late in the garden I turn on the flood lights for him - that turns HIM on!

[Hanna]

Thanks for this post Tracy, really interesting and woth thinking about - and working on. The language of love is so important, yet complicated and sometimes difficult to understand! Have to think about what my family needs after this. :-)

[Lelainia (Faith)]

Tracy, thank you for sharing htat. I find that really intriguing. I think I respond to act of service and gift giving. On SUnday I was in a hurry on my way to a get together with friends. I was pressed for time and I knew I had to stop and fill my gas tank. I got in and when I started the car, I discovered that my dh had filled it when he borrowed it the night before. That TOTALLY made my day. I called him on my cell to thank him, but I don't think he realized how much that touched my heart. Just that he would notice my car needed filling (He rarely drives my car) and cared enough to just take care of it. I get the same warm feeling when he cooks me brekki or make me tea or does the dishes. THere is nothing sexier than somoene looking after me, since I am so independant. I will have to find this book.