daretodream

For Lily

I found the quote below while searching for dog quotes for a project I'm working on....
It brought tears to my eyes and I wanted to share it with you.  oxox, tracy

He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself.

He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant.

His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever — in case I need him. And I expect I will — as I always have. He is just my dog.

by Gene Hill

lily with her friend zoe

Good Morning Monday!

Can you just die over the picture??  Katy (oldest daughter) took it when we visted Stacie and the babe weeks ago.  I had both babies (audrey and Lucy, the 4 legged one) in my lap.  Ooooh, how I miss my friend and her two little ones. 

She sent me some pics and since I noticed she'd already posted this one on her blog, I thought I'd post it here too....it's just so cute!

 

Life here has been full....busy....good.  I've been catching up somewhat...I made some little fairy necklaces that I've been mailing out...(well, I've only mailed out 2 so far but hopefully the rest this week!)

I've listed some new earrings and things on my etsy shop.  Here are some pics of those too. oxoxo

Christmas Cheer

hi!  The weekend is now officially over, as it's 12:01am.
It's quiet here...everyone sleeping except for me...and the pets.

I'm doing well....missing Stacie and her house but happy to be
home. 

I love christmas.  Love making and buying gifts and sending them off.
Well, the sending part has always been a challenge for me, but the making
and buying is a piece of cake. :)
I've been busy making some little gifts to mail to some sweet friends.  Who knows,
I might actually send xmas cards this year...*it would be the first time in 7 years!*

I pray that you're all happy, loved and safe.  oxox

Sweet little Audrey~

hi!  My daughter, Katy, and I returned home last night from visiting my dear friends Stacie & Jeff.
It was the trip I'd been waiting for as we were finally able to see, hold and smother with kisses their
little baby Audrey.  We took so many pictures which I've yet to start editing.  The one above was taken by katy.  Audrey's wearing the sweet little sweater I got for her in France. :)   Stacie looked absolutely gorgeous, you'd never know she'd just had a baby.  As soon as we said goodbye and started the drive home, we both wanted to turn and go back...we missed them already.

Are you ready for christmas??  I reached my goal and had my tree up and decorated by Dec. 5.  YAY!
I have a hair apt. at 6pm and then, straight to a party at my bff's house (across the culdesac). 
Hope your night is cozy.     oxox

Sweet Puppy

Hi, hope you're doing well.  We're all great here...it's another
teachers work day, I swear, the kids are home more than they're at school!
I took this picture of Lily last night while she was sitting in her daddy's lap.
She's so shaggy, but it works for her.

oxoxox

Time's Flying By

Good Morning!  The time is just passing by....I had a list of to do's for last week and think I did maybe two. 

This past week was a family week. The below post is for the benefit of grandma's and pa's.

Kimber has started an internship at our Vet's office which began last week.  She's 14 and started the Medical Magnet high school this year.  (a program in our school district offers several specialized high schools for students...there is an arts & communications HS, a science/technology, medical, etc..basically college prep but free :)).  Once kimber is 16, she'll be hired as an employee but until then, she'll be "interning".  She'll be able to suit up and observe during surgeries, etc. She's gone in 3 times staying approx. 2-1/2 hours each day.  This is all very exciting for her...and me. :)
   
Katy took the above photo on Saturday morning.  Kimber started riding lessons just before I left for france.  She replaced piano lessons for this and even forfeited her allowance to help pay the difference in cost.  I just don't see how parents with kids involved in a million sports and lessons can juggle all the expense.

Katy is 17.  We found out right before the school year started that she had enough credits to graduate a year early.  She was reluctant to forgo her Sr. year and signed up for a reduced schedule.  It took about 3 weeks for her to begin feeling trapped.  I finally called her school counselor and discussed Katy's desire to just be done and move ahead with her life.  She was given the option to finish at the end of the quarter (this friday).  She will graduate in the spring with her class, but is basically finished with high school on friday.  It's been exciting and a little unsettling for her.  She has never really been one for change and throughout her first 7 years of school would cry at the end of the year, not knowing how she would go on without her friends, schedule, etc.  She was so certain after starting school this semester that she wouldn't be allowed to finish early without taking withdrawal/fails for the classes she'd started.  After talking with her counselor and with assurance that she had goals and plans if she was released early, it was approved.  She was given a 2 week notice that she'd be finished at the end of the quarter....which means this friday.  We spent the week soaking that in....discussing plans, etc.  She has been working at Al's Garden Center since the beginning of summer in the espresso bar.  She's been doing the whole training thing for other positions in the shop and will continue working there, picking up shifts, etc.  She is learning how to drive (FINALLY!) and will be taking her driving test by Christmas, if I'm lucky...we know for sure she will be starting Portland State in the Fall 2008 living on campus.  What we're not 100% on is if she'll be taking some classes at the community college before Fall. 
She's been wanting a career in Social Services/Psychology for a few years but for a year or so has been leaning towards biology/genetics...this morning over starbucks, sitting in my van in her school parking lot, she was telling me about her desire to combine genetics and psychology, moving towards genetic counseling  (not to assure people will have a blond hair, blue eyed baby, but for health reasons). 
My babies are growing....
xox

Tuesday Night

hi...hope your well and having a good week.  It's just after 11pm Tuesday.  I've officially been home for a week as of 1am.  It actually feels like I've been home 2 weeks...things have been so intense.  Today has been nonstop with taxi cab driving kids all over the place, working on some mini rubber stamp designs for Alpha Stamps, had an appointment with Susan today, the first time since getting back...(she's my therapist).  After that, stopped by the bookstore and then grocery shopping.  I got home at 10 and am about ready for bed.    I've not emailed anyone since returning home but promise to return emails this week.  I'm such a crappy emailer.  Okay, feel pretty crappy at lots of things lately...well, except motherhood.  I'm a great mom. :).....depending on which kid you ask.  I know I rank really high with the 17 year old....the 14 year old would probably give me a 7...you know how 14 is.  The air around here has been charged.  I think our house is in pms overload...makes hubby want to hide and makes the girls and I want to hide too.....or scream, we have been doing quite a bit of both.  Us and a million other households, I'm sure.  I know one day when the girls are grown and gone, I'll miss it.  I'm just thanking God now for each day... for my husband, my daughters, of course Lily and the boys (murphy and muffin, the cats)....for the REAL boys...my stepsons and their wonderful mom.  okay, I'm now starting to feel pressure to type every single person I'm thankful for....why do I do this to myself?

I talked to stacie on the phone today.  I'm SO dying for the baby to get here.  She's due in 1 week and learned today that if she doesn't deliver by wednesday, her dr. is going to induce!~ 

I need to make an official announcement that I will be having a virtual baby shower for her......hopefully tomorrow....it'll be for any of you who want to celebrate the upcoming birth of Stacie and Jeff's little girl (she told me her baby name today!  shhhh....it's a secret!).  If you would like to be involved in the shower, I'll be posting the details in the next day or two.
That's all for now...have sweet dreams (or a good day, whenever you happen to be reading this) and thanks for taking time to peek in here.   oxox

Yummy Dessert in Montpelier

Our first dinner in France just 3 weeks ago.
We chose this for dessert.  This yummy goodness features cream brulee,
ginger ice cream, double chocolate cake and espresso.

Hi, happy monday.  I've been home a week now and am feeling much better than when I
last posted.

I feel more settled...I've completely unpacked as of a few days ago and now just need to find a place to put all my treasures.  I will take pics eventually to share.  I'll also be listing some of them on ebay in the next few days, Lord willing.

I thought I'd share bits of my first days of travel to get to france.  I'd actually left my house at 4pm Friday Sept. 21st, eventually flying out of Portland to San Francisco.  I caught a connecting flight to Boston and from Boston caught a puddle jumper to Raleigh Durham, NC where I was met by my parents who live in NC.  My flight arrived around 10 am Saturday morn and I was so happy to see Mom & Dad.  I'd slept on and off on all three planes but that's not saying much.  My next flight left later that night and Mom was flying with me.  We had 7 hours to  kill so my parents had made plans to visit some close friends who lived near the airport.  They let me borrow a bed and a shower while they went out to lunch.  Such a treat!  Actually sleeping horizontally! 

I've slept a little and showered...but still wearing the same clothes...
*note to self....never again wear overalls on a plane...the security alarms get unhappy*

Upon checking in for our flight to London, I was told that we had a problem.  Seems my passport had my maiden name for my sur name and my tickets had my married name.  I stayed calm and eventually had my tickets updated using my maiden name to match the passport.  phew!
The London airport was HUGE....after clearing customs we were released into this huge two story mall where everyone flying out would remain until their gate # was posted on the tv screens that filled the place - 45 minutes before departure.  This was a hard one for Mom to swallow because she felt like she was dangling in limbo with no place to go....which was true.  I was happy 'cause of the shops, relieved to find a starbucks and other than every muscle in my body being in pain from the 4 previous flights, was able to entertain myself.  During the layover, I bought a westie magnet for Tami, a westie keychain for me as well as a wonderful round box of pink champagne truffles from Harrods.  I browsed through an awesome book store, bought some funny postcards of the queen and prince charles, just big heads....found a shop that had Beatles souvenirs (Kimber's a huge beatles fan), I got her a box of ceramic beatles magnets.  During my shopping time, my mom was exchanging US $$ for Euros, sitting on some benches reading a book and eventually guarding my carry on luggage.  We had breakfast and then sat around more waiting for gate info.  I sat and filled out 3 postcards for my girls and hubby, stood in a horrific line to buy stamps and by the time our gate was given, I grabbed my stuff, headed to the huge round post box, slipped the postcards inside and headed for the gate, TOTALLY proud of myself for mailing my first postcards before even reaching my final destination!  (I'm postally challenged, btw)  The walk to the gate was brutal....took ages to get the the escalators and once there, they were SOOOO TALL!  we went up....walked a few feet and then went down another set.  Once at the gate we had about 45 minutes to wait before boarding....(there were some delays, I think).  While sitting together and chatting up an English woman who lives near Montpelier, I got a call from my hubby.  He and Lily were just waking up.  I put them on speaker phone so that mom could hear Lily (she's my dog) say "I love you".  It's the kind of thing no one believe if they didn't hear it.  Honestly, she said it clearer than she had ever done....my mom freaked!  it sounds kinda like....."rrrrrriiiiiii rrroooo roouuuuuu!!"

Once it looked as if we would be boarding shortly....I began looking for my boarding pass....and looking...and then, the light bulb came on.  I'd last seen my boarding pass when I was filling out postcards.  I felt quite certain that yes, I'd dropped my boarding pass in the Post Box.    I know me enough that I didn't freak out...things like this aren't too unusual for me.   I got up, went to the desk, showed my passport and explained what I thought I'd done.  The ladies at the desk totally cracked up and printed me out a new boarding pass.....phew #2. 

The flight into France was the best one of the trip up to that point...not only did they feed us, all alcohol was free.  Mom and I celebrated with 2 tiny bottles of champagne each.  :)
oxox

Home Sweet Home

This tiny old house was in a rural part in the middle of France
between Limoges and Paris.
hi....I'm home.  It's been 2-1/2 days now and it's very nice seeing my family after almost 3 weeks.
This has been the longest we've ever been apart and I'm happy to say it was as hard on them as it was on me. :)  Heaven forbid I leave for over 2 weeks and they feel it's as if I'd never left! 
I've got a range of emotional and physical feelings regarding my trip and being back.  I'm happy
to be home where I feel safe and loved.  I can actually remain in one place for days with no future
plans to board an airplane anytime soon...that's a relief.

I feel I've been physically and emotionally tested in so many ways, good and not so good. 
Since I'm an emotional person, that basically means I've cried a lot since I've been back. 
I'm feeling pretty fragile at the moment and will certainly need to work this out over time.

My hubby and I have poured over so many of my experiences in France....he asked me what
my  hopes were for this trip....besides the obvious such as seeing France again, flea markets, time with friends...Linda and Opie O'Brien....my most important and most anticipated hopes surrounded the time spent with my Mom, whom I love with all my heart.  I imagined that we would, for the first time in our lives, take a trip together as two adults (I'm nearing 44 yrs of age), as two friends.  I imagined an adventure together and bonding closer than ever before.  While we had bits and pieces of good times, in reality, it wasn't an easy trip. 

Tell me this....when do we, as daughters, give up the dream that a day will come when we will be respected as adults by our mothers?  That as adults we are used to making our own decisions, taking care of our own messes, raising our children, etc.?  We have our own ways of doing things that are different than how our Mom's do things.  And....within these boundaries, our Mother will love and accept us, respect the fact that we (ok, me) not only have adult lives apart from them, but  actually are raising wonderful kids, have an amazing marraige, are capable of making decisions....Honestly, I'm venting, so it seems I'm talking in circles. 

I'm now closing in on 44 yrs of age and I find that coming to the realization of an adult friendship with my mother, the one I was hoping for, isn't meant to be.  I know and believe that we love each other....but am resigning myself to the fact I will always, in the eyes of my Mother, need to be parented when we're together.

oxox

New Rubber Stamps & Last Day in France

The Creperie we had lunch at yesterday afternoon...

We took this right after lunch...we're full and happy!

Bonjour!  I've just finished the last of my packing here, in Limoges.  I'm off to shower and then we drive to Paris.  The weather has been wonderfully cool, which helps with 24 hour hot flashes.
I'll try to post more tonight, but wanted to give THIS LINK as I've uploaded some of the pictures I took yesterday to my flicker site.

On a different note, I'm so proud of my new rubber stamp designs....here's a peek....you can find them at AlphaStamps!

oxoxox